這篇文章開了頭寫了三四行便丟空了許久，後來鋪寫了下去，但結論部份一直沒有寫完。這是罕有的，因為以往即使歷時半個以至一個月，我都會努力把它補完，以往的鳥飛青空會嘖嘖地道，這原來就是你寫部落格的方式啊。然而這一次的沒有寫完，竟是真的沒有寫完，意味著以後也不會寫完；忽然來到這一天，覺得，必須留著它，讓它以沒有完結的這個狀態，繼續存在著，在這裡。
「......我以前也有過類以像夢一樣的東西，也有過類以像幻想一樣的東西。不過不知不覺這些東西就消失了。這是在遇見你（丈夫）以前的事，我把這些東西抹殺了。也許是靠自己的意志抹殺，捨棄掉的，就像已經不需要的肉體器官一樣。這樣做對不對，我不知道，不過那時侯，我想我除了這樣做，別無選擇。有時我會做夢，夢見有人把這個送來，好幾次好幾次都做同樣的夢，有人雙手捧著這個過來說『太太，這是你遺忘的東西。』 這樣的夢......經常有什麼在後面追我，半夜裏我會一身冷汗地驚醒過來，被那應該是巳經捨棄了的東西追著過來，並不是只有你被甚麼追著，也不是只有你在捨棄甚麼，喪失甚麼噢。」（村上春樹．《國境之南．太陽之西》）
那邊，留下了夢想，確認了缺失；這邊，且讓沒有完成的就擱著，剩下的，可能吧，那隔岸的凝望。
2008年10月10日 星期五
2008年9月14日 星期日
熔爐理論？
讀張松輝《莊子疑義考辨》，提到莊子有所謂「熔爐理論」，並與老子的「風箱理論」兩相輝映，不禁有點無奈。
老子的「風箱理論」當然是指通行本第五章著名的「天地之間，其猶槖龠乎？虛而不屈，動而愈出」。而所謂莊子的「熔爐理論」，據云出於〈大宗師〉子來臨死留言節及意而子見許由節。
老子以風箱比喻天地之道，是取道用在於創造空體，以抽真空比喻其沖虛性（「無為」其中一個表述），重點在於爐下的真空而不是爐內的熔貫。至於《莊子》，則須詳辨。
〈大宗師〉紀載，子祀、子輿、子犁、子來為好友，都是得道之人。後來子來有病快死了，子犁前往慰問，發現子來的妻子為丈夫將死而悲泣，乃叱退了她，在門邊和子來對起話來。子來便說：
「父母於子，東西南北，唯命之從。陰陽於人，不翅於父母。彼近吾死而我不聽，我則悍矣，彼何罪焉？夫大塊以載我以形，勞我以生，佚我以老 ，息我以死。故善吾生者，乃所以善吾死也。今大冶鑄金，金踴躍曰 ：『我且必為鏌鋣！』大冶必以為不祥之金。今一犯人之形而曰：『人耳！人耳！』夫造化者必以為不祥之人。今一以天地為大爐，以造化為大冶，惡乎往而不可哉！」
這一段明喻天地為大熔爐，造化為鐵匠。但重點似在於把自己交出去，不去強求為有用之器（否則便是不祥之器），不執著必要做人（否則便是不祥之人），面對冶煉，任自然之所趨，既是無用之用，也是無為之為。如是，面對一死，又有何哀，又有甚麼放不下呢？
意而子見許由節，許由問堯令意而子有何得益。意而子答以行仁義及明是非，立即遭許由搶白。許由以盲人不懂審美而諷意而子宛如已被仁義是非弄至殘廢因而不可得道。意而子便說：
「 夫無莊之失其美，據梁之失其力，黃帝之亡其知，皆在爐捶之間耳。 庸詎知夫造物者之不息我黥而補我劓，使我乘成以隨先生邪？」
老子的「風箱理論」當然是指通行本第五章著名的「天地之間，其猶槖龠乎？虛而不屈，動而愈出」。而所謂莊子的「熔爐理論」，據云出於〈大宗師〉子來臨死留言節及意而子見許由節。
老子以風箱比喻天地之道，是取道用在於創造空體，以抽真空比喻其沖虛性（「無為」其中一個表述），重點在於爐下的真空而不是爐內的熔貫。至於《莊子》，則須詳辨。
〈大宗師〉紀載，子祀、子輿、子犁、子來為好友，都是得道之人。後來子來有病快死了，子犁前往慰問，發現子來的妻子為丈夫將死而悲泣，乃叱退了她，在門邊和子來對起話來。子來便說：
「父母於子，東西南北，唯命之從。陰陽於人，不翅於父母。彼近吾死而我不聽，我則悍矣，彼何罪焉？夫大塊以載我以形，勞我以生，佚我以老 ，息我以死。故善吾生者，乃所以善吾死也。今大冶鑄金，金踴躍曰 ：『我且必為鏌鋣！』大冶必以為不祥之金。今一犯人之形而曰：『人耳！人耳！』夫造化者必以為不祥之人。今一以天地為大爐，以造化為大冶，惡乎往而不可哉！」
這一段明喻天地為大熔爐，造化為鐵匠。但重點似在於把自己交出去，不去強求為有用之器（否則便是不祥之器），不執著必要做人（否則便是不祥之人），面對冶煉，任自然之所趨，既是無用之用，也是無為之為。如是，面對一死，又有何哀，又有甚麼放不下呢？
意而子見許由節，許由問堯令意而子有何得益。意而子答以行仁義及明是非，立即遭許由搶白。許由以盲人不懂審美而諷意而子宛如已被仁義是非弄至殘廢因而不可得道。意而子便說：
「 夫無莊之失其美，據梁之失其力，黃帝之亡其知，皆在爐捶之間耳。 庸詎知夫造物者之不息我黥而補我劓，使我乘成以隨先生邪？」
無莊是古代美人，據梁是古代力士，黃帝是古代聖君。有朝一日，他們都會失去了他們許之為自己的優點、特質，因為他們都在造化之內，會老會病，會歸於無，就像器物投入熔爐。換言之，好之為好，不是永恆不變的，由此推出不足之為不足，也不會是永遠的。意而子的意思其實是說，許由你說我今天被仁義是非所傷，不足以得道，但你怎能肯定他朝造物者不會「損有餘而補不足」，把我的缺憾補回，令我有機會隨先生學習呢？
張松輝對此另有發揮：
「按照莊子的熔爐理論，包括人在內的萬物從天地之間這個熔爐」裡鑄造出來，經過一段時間，死後又回到天地之間這個大熔爐中，接受再次鍛造，如此循環不已。這三個人雖然各有優點，十分聞名，而現在都正在接受造物的重新鍛造，從而變成新的事物。......既然造物者可以把整個人體進行回爐，重新造出新的事物，更何況自己僅僅是受了一點小刑罰，留下了一點皮外傷痕，只要自己一心向道，大道也一定能夠息我黥而補我劓，使我乘成而隨先生」。
......
2008年9月8日 星期一
無題
Robinho has responded to Pele's criticism him for joining Manchester City, insisting the Brazil icon and again criticised Real Madrid for the failure of his move to Chelsea.
Robinho: Overvalued by Real, despite them now knowing he is not Schuster's son.Former Santos forward Robinho, 24, joined City from Real Madrid on Monday in a shock transfer-deadline-day move after having looked on course for a transfer to Stamford Bridge.
City - newly rich as a result of investment the Abu Dhabi United Group - stepped in to meet the asking price and Pele is reported to have said Robinho 'needs some serious counselling' as he had been 'badly advised' by people close to him. Robinho has stressed the move to City is the right one.
'I accept Pele's criticism as he is the king of football, but if he had been me, he would have done the same,' said Robinho, who arrived in Teresopolis in a helicopter yesterday to train with the national team ahead of the World Cup qualifiers against Chile and Bolivia.
'Real did not want to retain me. They even used me as a potential exchange to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. But as that negotiation fell through, they wanted to retain me then.
'If they didn't want to count on me, I didn't want to stay there either, so that is what I told the president.'
Robinho admitted his first intention was to move to Chelsea to be coached by former Brazil boss Luiz Felipe Scolari but a number of issues led to Real Madrid cancelling negotiations.
'My first goal was to go to Chelsea as it was the only club to have made a formal offer,' he added. 'But Real did not like Chelsea shirts with my name on being sold before sorting out the negotiations,' he said, referring to an embarassing episode that saw Chelsea's commercial arm peddling Robinho merchandise when a deal was nowhere near being done.
'Also, they did not reach the value Real demanded so then Manchester City came in at the last minute to sign me.'
Robinho said Real's refusal to release him to play at the Olympic Games was one of the main reasons why he quit the Spanish side to join City.
The Primera Liga giants denied the forward the chance to play in Beijing last month claiming the Brazilian had an injury, but the forward became angry with the club's board and asked president Ramon Calderon for a move away from the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu.
'I cried when he (Calderon) didn't let me play at the Olympics and you can check that by asking him,' said Robinho.
'I didn't cry to quit. I just told him I didn't want to stay there any longer so I asked to be transferred.'
*September 4, 2008 ESPN soccernet
Robinho: Overvalued by Real, despite them now knowing he is not Schuster's son.Former Santos forward Robinho, 24, joined City from Real Madrid on Monday in a shock transfer-deadline-day move after having looked on course for a transfer to Stamford Bridge.
City - newly rich as a result of investment the Abu Dhabi United Group - stepped in to meet the asking price and Pele is reported to have said Robinho 'needs some serious counselling' as he had been 'badly advised' by people close to him. Robinho has stressed the move to City is the right one.
'I accept Pele's criticism as he is the king of football, but if he had been me, he would have done the same,' said Robinho, who arrived in Teresopolis in a helicopter yesterday to train with the national team ahead of the World Cup qualifiers against Chile and Bolivia.
'Real did not want to retain me. They even used me as a potential exchange to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. But as that negotiation fell through, they wanted to retain me then.
'If they didn't want to count on me, I didn't want to stay there either, so that is what I told the president.'
Robinho admitted his first intention was to move to Chelsea to be coached by former Brazil boss Luiz Felipe Scolari but a number of issues led to Real Madrid cancelling negotiations.
'My first goal was to go to Chelsea as it was the only club to have made a formal offer,' he added. 'But Real did not like Chelsea shirts with my name on being sold before sorting out the negotiations,' he said, referring to an embarassing episode that saw Chelsea's commercial arm peddling Robinho merchandise when a deal was nowhere near being done.
'Also, they did not reach the value Real demanded so then Manchester City came in at the last minute to sign me.'
Robinho said Real's refusal to release him to play at the Olympic Games was one of the main reasons why he quit the Spanish side to join City.
The Primera Liga giants denied the forward the chance to play in Beijing last month claiming the Brazilian had an injury, but the forward became angry with the club's board and asked president Ramon Calderon for a move away from the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu.
'I cried when he (Calderon) didn't let me play at the Olympics and you can check that by asking him,' said Robinho.
'I didn't cry to quit. I just told him I didn't want to stay there any longer so I asked to be transferred.'
*September 4, 2008 ESPN soccernet
2008年9月1日 星期一
行者之錯步台灣有售及其他
出版社告知，《行者之錯步》已在台灣誠品書店及其網站有售。
另：看Stephen Owen《追憶》第二節關於《莊子》髑髏部份，不錯，他特別強調的正是我在怎樣談莊的自我留言中有意無意的遺漏：張衡《髑髏賦》的結尾部份：
於是言卒響絕，神光除滅。顧盼發軫，乃令僕夫，假之以縞巾，衾之以玄塵，為之傷渧，酬於路濱。
Stephen Owen強調，張衡用莊子的舊瓶裝了他的新酒；讓無名的骨骸有了名字（而且便是莊周，昔之質問者，成了今之被質問者），而且通過祭禮，讓它跟活著的人有了聯繫。
莊子強調死者了無牽掛，再與生人無干的歡樂，但張衡仍是要把它扯回來，通過追憶，通過俗解的薪盡，火傳。
但有時不禁想：薪既已盡，火傳與否，真的重要嗎？
另：看Stephen Owen《追憶》第二節關於《莊子》髑髏部份，不錯，他特別強調的正是我在怎樣談莊的自我留言中有意無意的遺漏：張衡《髑髏賦》的結尾部份：
於是言卒響絕，神光除滅。顧盼發軫，乃令僕夫，假之以縞巾，衾之以玄塵，為之傷渧，酬於路濱。
Stephen Owen強調，張衡用莊子的舊瓶裝了他的新酒；讓無名的骨骸有了名字（而且便是莊周，昔之質問者，成了今之被質問者），而且通過祭禮，讓它跟活著的人有了聯繫。
莊子強調死者了無牽掛，再與生人無干的歡樂，但張衡仍是要把它扯回來，通過追憶，通過俗解的薪盡，火傳。
但有時不禁想：薪既已盡，火傳與否，真的重要嗎？
2008年8月29日 星期五
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